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In Search of…..
I had hoped to find my “Eat, Pray, Love” moment, I thought going to India would give me insight, give me some hint of why so many sad things had happened to me, not me to exactly but to people that meant so much to me. The beginning of 2015 held so much promise but it soon turned very, very sad and very disappointing. At the very least I hoped to reclaim gratitude, something that I lost, I was so focused on what had been taken away.
In the days leading up to my arrival in Delhi I began to have second thoughts, anxiety about flying and anxiety over what I would see when I got there. Would I be surrounded by extreme poverty one moment and wealth the next as I had been warned?
On the plane, after I sedated myself with aromatherapy and relaxed I began to observe my surroundings, after all it was an 8-hour flight to Helsinki, the first leg of my flight. I turned to my right and saw man who reminded me of my late brother Mikey; his height, his slightly balding hair, his eyeglasses, his kindness, his button down shirt, his smile and his hands…. and I cried…. I felt safe; my angel was on the plane.
A few moments later I focused on an Australian accent and heard the word “stereo”. It was a conversation between two men, one a salesman of sorts who was flying to Finland on business, his business being the sale of incredibly expensive turntables and speakers the kind most people have never heard or even heard of…the kind that I am very familiar with. My apartment was once taken over by such equipment belonging to my best friend in life, a person I could always count on. I never had to pretend to be happy or cheerful or content with Dean, he was easy…he passed away a few weeks before I boarded the plane…..I realized I had two angels on the plane and I knew I had found my moment even before I planted my feet in India.